Women must take charge for a healthy sexual lifestyle

Seen here are the East Rand Business Women committee members, from left (back): Ingrid Delport, Antoinette Swanepoel (chairlady) and Ursula Marais. Front: Antoinette du Toit, Timothy Kieswetter (guest speaker) and Karen Herbst.

This is according to sexuality expert and author Timothy Kieswetter.

He was speaking to women at the East Rand Business Women’s April meeting, at Summer Place.

Throughout his presentation he made women laugh as he made jokes about sex while conveying an important message about healthy sexual lifestyle.

Kieswetter said communication is the most important tool in a relationship as it is beneficial to both parties.

He indicated that women who have been married for 20 to 30 years would agree that their husband are now better versions of themselves now than before they married them.

“It all depends on how a woman wants her relationship to be and there’s no other way to achieve that objective than to communicate,” Kieswetter said.

“Women want to be treated differently in public. The wife doesn’t want to be one of many women in her husband’s life; she wants to be the special one.

“Women should stop being critical towards their husbands in public. Male egos are very brittle. We need to understand that men are brought up to be emotionally strong, so they grow up to be emotionally underdeveloped.

“It doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions, it doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything – it’s just that they were never trained or allowed to be in touch with their feminine side,” he said.



The expert said that men’s identity is directly linked to be the women’s saviour, so when the man gets fired or demoted and the woman needs to get a job, this creates a problem.

He highlighted that a man’s ego sits in two places – in his wallet and pants. So if he can’t get the wallet full he won’t be able to get the other part up.

Seen here are some of the women who attended the East Rand Business Women’s April meeting. Back: Anéka Hollander and Renette Terblans. Front: Eureka Hollander and Riana Kruger.


“So how do you teach your man to desire you? First you don’t meet your husband with an attitude; your body language must attract him to want you.

Kieswetter said women don’t want a breadwinner but someone who they will be able to share their emotions with.

“Enter into your man’s world and join him in whatever he is doing. Be in his company but in silence.

“Women should not see sex as a duty. They have a right to say no to their husbands. Give yourself permission to say no if you do not feel

Again he emphasised that healthy sex never says no and walks away.

Kieswetter said if people are in a marriage and they no longer love one another but are committed to each other they should do something to bring back that adrenaline rush.



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